Morton’s Fork


We’ve all talked about a Hobson’s Choice when we are on the horns of a dilemma.  But we got it wrong.  A Hobson’s Choice is no real choice (pay your taxes or go to jail).  What we really have is a Morton’s Fork.

Look it up.

Romeo and Juliet


This is simply beautiful:

When he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine,
That all the world will be in love with night,
And pay no worship to the garish sun.

William Shakespeare
   Romeo and Juliet

The New Golf Rules for Older Golfers


For older golfers like me:

A friend told me about these new rules changes. Finally some changes we can live with. I don’t think I’ve read about them in Golf Digest yet so all you Seniors take notes and pass on this information to your playing friends.

New Rules Changes from the USGA: The AARP has negotiated with the USGA to modify the Rules of Golf for seniors.

Rule 1.a.5

A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the
fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the
rough with no penalty. The senior should not be penalized for tall grass
which grounds keepers failed to mow.

Rule 2.d.6 (b)

A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is
simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The senior 
player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it
had not hit the tree and play the ball from there.

Rule 3.b.3(g)

There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or
near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the crime by charging himself/herself with a penalty.

Rule 4.c.7(h)

If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have
dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.

Rule 5.

Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be
blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three
inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.

Rule 6.a.9(k)

There is no penalty for so-called “out of bounds.” If 
penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would
not occur. The senior golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.

Rule 7.g.15(z)

There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls
 should float. Senior golfers should not be penalized for manufacturers shortcomings.

Rule 8.k.9(s)

Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing
 new golf equipment. Since this is financially difficult for many senior golfers, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.